Tuesday, August 30, 2011

But You Gotta Keep Your Head Up...

I woke up, eager to start the day, excited to have my Special K breakfast and continue with my normal everyday routine. I gave my mom a hug, but where’s dad? Well, he HAS been going on walks recently, but usually comes home when I wake up. I thought he was just probably walking an hour or two longer, which is perfectly fine. But… his car wasn’t parked in the garage? He probably went to the hardware store; he had to fix some stuff outside the house anyway. My mom was in my dad’s office, and noticed something a little strange. His phone and wallet AND sunglasses were still in fact there. A little weird, since a man cannot leave the house without a wallet or phone, it’s just unlikely! Well, not to worry. He may just be clearing his head.

Hours felt like decades, and I wanted to see my dad. I was nervous and I didn’t know where he was. My mom and I just went out, like always, and were positive my father would be home when we got back. After buying some artists pencils from the local arts & crafts store, we called home to see if he was back yet. No answer, it just went into the fax machine because we forgot to turn the printer off. I sigh, and assure myself everything is alright.

We got home two hours later, and the garage was in fact empty. No black car I love to see when I arrive at my house. My mother and I are very concerned. I was so scared since it just started thundering and lightning. I hoped my father didn’t get caught in the bad weather!

My mom and I went out to look for my dad, to see if he was possibly at a local park or something. Whadaya know? He isn’t anywhere to be found. I was very worried, so we reported a missing person. We asked all his friends if he was with them, maybe he was with his best friend, after all, they are always going out together for a movie or a bite to eat and they don’t tell my mom (they think they’re such jokesters).

We waited for hours, soon it was midnight. I needed to have a sign that my dad was okay, I wanted to know he was coming home for sure. Suddenly, a strange white car parked outside of our house. I was scared shitless; I thought somebody was going to break in. But then they put their lights on, it was in fact the police. They knocked on the door, and asked if they could come in, not showing any signs of bad news. Finally, they tell us. My father had in fact passed away around 7:00 a.m. Wow. There it was. The news we certainly DIDN’T want to hear had been told to us in our own home.

At first, I was so shocked, that I was far from tears. I kept repeating to myself, it’s alright, he’s coming home. I questioned the police numerous times praying for a positive answer, hoping to hear signs that it wasn’t in fact my dad. But no, it was indeed him. Half of my life had been taken away from me, just like that. No last hug, no last words, just the memory of seeing him the night before. Luckily, we had great neighbors to help us. They let me sleep over their house, while I got my head straight- which believe me, didn’t happen.

I for one am not a person to talk about these things, nor will I ever be. I hadn’t spoken to one of my friends about what happened within a week of it. Then, obviously, everyone finds out sometime. I’ve had so much support from everyone, and it has helped me a lot.

I’m not trying to get attention; I’m not trying to pull anything. Believe me, the last thing on my mind is being the most loved person on stardoll. I honestly would leave right now if it wasn’t for my projects and friends keeping me going. I have a life right now, and I have friends, heck, I’m popular! But that’s what makes me happy. Having a life filled with people I love. I made this post for a very specific reason. You don’t know what will happen to you in the future, you never will. Your destiny could be having no parents, being famous, having a normal life, or something you would NEVER expect. Trust me, this was so sudden. The one thing that I would never expect in a million years! Don’t be gloomy with life, love what you have, and be happy with who you are. Hearing this song always makes me feel… better. Maybe if you’re struggling with something, take some time to listen to it. It may not be your genre, but I’m sure it will put a smile on your face just like it did for me. ;)


  1. Oh my gosh ERICA! O: I'm truly sorrrry! (: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


  3. Aw, I am so sorry, my heart was racing all the way through your post, and I almost cried, I hate losses. I'm not sure what I'd do without my dad, even though we don't talk like often, but we still have a special relationship. I am really sorry for your loss, you really can try and take it all in. God bless him in heaven.

  4. I am saddened to hear such a thing happened to your family.

    My condolences Erica.


  5. I'm so sorry, I hope you don't mind me asking, but what did he die from and where was he when he did pass away?

  6. I am so sorry for your last, I hate losses of people even if I don't know them like they say God always takes the good people first may he rest in peace.

  7. I'm so sorry about this Erica D: Your father is in heaven smiling down on you. If you ever need to just talk ... i'll always answer.

  8. Oh my god, I hope you're ok :( xxx

  9. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I am glad you have a positive attitude.

    I hope you, your mum and all your family will be able to remember him at his best .x

  10. Oh my goodness.......that's terrible :'(.. I don't know what to say..
    God Bless him

  11. I'm SO sorry for your loss. R.I.P. to your father, I'm sure he was a great man.

  12. I wish you the best, and God bless him.

    You're so brave and strong, I admire that.

  13. I am so so so sorry for you father: God bless, I hope you and your family stay strong :)